Saturday, March 24, 2007

Curves will have to Wait

Last night, I watched the Miss USA 2007 pageant on TV. Can I just tell you, the bodies on those girls are RIDICULOUS! I mean, I could smell the hunger from the television set watching them strut in their bikinis.

Miss Tennessee, now Miss USA, and her bangin' body.

Yet, no matter how ridiculous or unrealistic it is to have these kinds of bodies, I am miserably tempted by the "dream body type." Yeah, so I know curves are back, or trying to come back....the truth is, nobody looks better in couture then a really skinny woman. Who's that princess that once said, "You can never be too rich or too thin". I think she was a duchess, but whatev.

UGH! The price I'm paying for fashion.

So here are my options to a perfect body:

1. The Supermodel Diet: This basically is a glam term for anorexia. It consists of a large cup of black coffee for breakfast and a pack of cigarettes for lunch and dinner. This option will be hard since I think smoking is gross. What else can I substitute for cigs? Hmmm, alcohol has calories huh? lol.

2. Exercise bulimia. Everytime I put something in my mouth, I'll keep count of the calories then jog them off on the treadmill until the amount of burned calories are reached. This would be cool, but I have knocked knees and so I look like an idiot running. Sucks!

3. COLONIC. Now this one, guys, I am seriously considering. I saw an flier on the subway advertising one for $95. I know a lot of celebs do it to get rid of the toxins in their body and it actually shrinks your stomach. It's the ultimate fat flush! Like an enema, but fancier.

For your knowledge, a colonic is when they stick a hose up your anus (OUCH!) and fill your stomach with water. Then, after you've been hosed up, they SUCK it all back, along with the shit in your body. I believe the tube is clear so you can actually SEE the junk in your trunk! OMGD! It sounds so gross, but soooooo interesting! Imagine being the nurses that do these procedures? They must really hate their job. However, if this goes well for me, they will be my ultimate heroes.


Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Hello all!

Hi! Sooo where to start? I guess I'll do a cliched "about me" post. Most of u guys already know me, so heres a little info for those bored, curious strangers out there trolling the internet:

My name is Heidi and I'm living in NYC (which totally lives up to it's reputation by the way) with my two best friends (<3 Jess and Allie). I've been going to school out here (Hunter College) for almost 4 years now, and I think I've fallen in love with the freakin' place! I mean, where else can you go out to cafes or food shop at 3AM? Not stuffy Pennsylvania thats for sure... all the stores there close by 8 or 9 pm. Don't get me wrong: I grew up in PA, I love my neighborhood and friends back home but it's just not my type of environment. I'm a night owl baby O.O

Fashion is my liiiiiiiiiiiiiiife =D You'd be surprised how much time I waste online checking out designer stuff, lol which is pretty sad because I can't even afford half of it. My job covers rent, but it sucks having to work my ass off just to buy a nice bag or pair of shoes. I wish I was born into money like Paris Hilton or something. Her fashion sense is a little over the top imo, but it must be CRAZY to just walk into Christian Dior or Coach and just buy up anything you want w/o worrying about the $9279837 bill. Haha. Thank god my parents are helping pay for tuition, otherwise I'd be a pauper. It's going to take a few years, but I've figured out how to get the best of both worlds, tell me what you guys think:

I'm an English major with the intention of going into journalism, right? BUT the starting salary for journalists usually sucks, and I need serious money for my shopping habit. Solution? Write for fashion magazines. Fashion/beauty editors get to cover shows and write about the newest stuff on the market. I'm interning for Hearst Communications right now and I see these writers and editors getting so much free stuff. A bunch of designers send in bags, clothes, and makeup with hopes that Cosmo, Marie Claire, etc will feature them. They never ask for any of the stuff back, so the employees just pick out what they like and take it home with them! I'm so jealous! A pair of strappy brown manolos came in the other day... worth $545!! Ahhhh I can't wait to finish school and start working for a magazine like VOGUE or In Style or something. It'll be great :)

Well that enough of that, time to get back to real work. Ugh I have 2 papers due on friday. funnn =/

<3, Heidi

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

My First Time

Hey Guys,
This is my first post. I don't really know why I'm doing this but I figured I should. My closest friends are always telling me that I have "pent-up" emotions and I need an outlet. So here it is. I hope it works!!!